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Learning the Art of Letting Go | Simply Musings


Something no one tells you about growing up is learning the art of letting go. 

I have a tendency of being a dragon. I cannot fly, nor breath fire, nor cast fear those around me. I can, however, hoard. All my possessions are a form of treasure. Each with a little story of how it came to my life. 

I have artwork from the time I was a bit obsessed with Horton Hears A Who. I have notebooks from my middle school years, scribbled with overdramatic poems and musings. Photographs encapsulating moments in time with people whom I no longer speak with. Notes that were shared between friends I thought I was always going to be with. Little memorabilia of places I’ve been, people I met, relationships made, memories cherished. And even though I know I no longer need these little knacks and goods, in my heart, I struggle to let go. 

I struggle to let go of items that have a certain attachment to people who were once important to me. Like a scrapbook — filled with art, inside jokes, memories, and promises of an everlasting friendship. Or sheets of papers with stories written in a biology class. 

When you enter university you are given this marvelous concept: new friends, independence, unforgettable memories, adventures, road trips, new experiences. But no one tells you of all the things you have to let go and leave behind: people, friends, laughs, moments, memories. 

But as a dragon, I hoard all those things. Anything that reminds me remotely of anyone or anything stays in my treasure trove. And it starts an avalanche of what ifs. 

But to grow up, one must grow away. Move on from ghosts of the past and the items they haunt, but moving does not necessarily mean forgetting. 

Letting go means does not mean forgetting. 

 As I grow up and let go of my various treasures I will remember the moments in my heart, for those were vital parts of the ever going path I walk on. 
art of letting go, letting go, musings,
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Back to University

I have begun my last semester to my junior year at University (*screaming*). As much as I enjoy going to University I have slowly gotten into the small spiraling doom of "What am I doing with my life!?" Thankfully, I have a general idea what I want to do in the future, kinda, it's very broad. 

Anyways, my favorite part of the start of the semester is stationary and cute little knick-knacks (that I will probably only use once;;)

Here are the stuff I will hauling around while survive a new semester of learning.



My agenda (or diary for you weirdos) was purchased last year in Marshall's and when I tried searching for it online I was unable to find it again..A moleskin journal that I have decided to fill up with all my journalism related classes. There is currently five subjects in there! whoops. Three subjects from Fall 2015 and two subjects for this semester. A cute notebook that I bought in Muji while in Japan so I can jot down quick notes. That notebooks holds everything from Japanese, story ideas, note passing between friends, drawings, poetry, and homework related things...( I know...I am a mess...)



Backbag is decked out with Pokemon pins and by decked out I mean I have two, because I need to show how much of a dweeb I am.



Of course, I always carry a book with me along with snacks to munch on. I am currently reading Nevernight by Jay Krisstoff and it is AMAZING so far. Here is a little blurb:

"In a land where three suns almost never set, a fledgling killer joins a school of assassins, seeking vengeance against the powers who destroyed her family. Daughter of an executed traitor, Mia Corvere is barely able to escape her father’s failed rebellion with her life. Alone and friendless, she hides in a city built from the bones of a dead god, hunted by the Senate and her father’s former comrades. But her gift for speaking with the shadows leads her to the door of a retired killer, and a future she never imagined. Now, a sixteen year old Mia is apprenticed to the deadliest flock of assassins in the entire Republic — the Red Church. Treachery and trials await her with the Church’s halls, and to fail is to die. But if she survives to initiation, Mia will be inducted among the chosen of the Lady of Blessed Murder, and one step closer to the only thing she desires."


Most of the stuff I purchased while I was in Japan. You can still check out the links! (The prices are kinda high)

Backbag 
Pokemon Lead Pencil 
Highlighters 
0.2 mm lead pencil
MUJI Pens 
Nevernight
Graze
back to school, back to university, simply diary,
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Introverted and in a New Place - Update

It has been way over two months since I moved to the small country of Japan. One could say that after a month or so you get used to your new life and fall into a routine. This is not necessarily true in my case. As the days turn into weeks I have fallen into a routine that brings serenity into my day to day life. But I'm not exactly used it. 

I wake up daily at eight in the morning. I make breakfast. I wash my face and do the morning necessities. I speak to my parents on the phone while eating, getting dressed and all the jazz. Then I go to school, go to the gym or my teaching job, return to the apartment and study. Occasionally I stray from this routine and find something to do after my classes end. 

The thing about me is that I have learnt that living alone is not as fun as I imaged. I always pictured this perfect image of my life and how everything would be if I was alone in my own place. Oh how wrong I was. While I did image this in the states rather than in Japan. The feeling is the same though....I suppose. 

I am no longer lonely. I have made a handful of friends whom I can turn to so I can spend a day with company. 

I am still alone. 

And it is not something I find comfort in. Yes, there are wonderful sides to living by yourself. For starters, I can drink out of the jug without guilt. There are moments I feel guilty for drinking water out of my jug and then I remember...I'm not sharing with anyone...and then I remember that I am alone. 

Sure, I can strip my pants off the minute I step through the door, but I'm not exactly that type of person. 

I could turn up my music, rock out and dance, but I'm mindful of my neighbors. 

I can cook whatever I want, whenever I want. Then I remember there is never food ready for me unless I make it myself. 

I had drawn this beautiful image full of freedom and excitement. And the image was true on the freedom and excitement. The beauty of it is not all there. 

It's is funny, because introverts are know for enjoying solitude and I find that a complete lie. Yes, I like solitude, but only when I need to unwind and need personal space. Other than that, I hate solitude. Solitude sucks. 

In moments like these I ask, "Would dorming be better than having my own place?" Then I remember, that I'd be sharing space with over 25 people and I push those thoughts away. Sharing is caring, but there is only so much sharing I can do before I want to push someone into a bush. 

Living alone truly has been an adventure in itself. I have grown to appreciate my parents a lot more, and everything they do to keep the home environment homely. (Also, constantly having to do dishes sucks. No one to share the chore with. )

I'd say everyone needs the experience of living somewhere without their parents. But I recommend not to do it alone, unless you really want to. Like really really want to. 

I’m in a new place, and alone. But I am trying to accept that this an experience that is helping my comfort zone grow. Experiences I need to travel through. Being alone does not always mean being lonely, and that is what I am trying to achieve. I am no longer as lonely, but being alone was not all that it was cut out to be. 


I will continue moving forward, because the world is beautiful and only those willing to take the necessary steps are able to truly see it.
introverted, introverted and in a new place, simply diary,
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Introverted and in a New Place

I am what you call an introvert. For those who don't know an introvert is "a shy, reticent person" by textbook definition. There may moments that I feel adventurous or daring, but 75% it is an actual effort than a natural feeling. I tell myself that I am shy because I'm not a people person. It's not that I am not a people person, it's that people terrify me. Strangers terrify me. If I am given the choice of staying in a quiet place or going to a wild party...well I think you know where I am going with this. 

I have recently moved to a new place, far, far, far away from the four wall establishment I call home. I know moving so far away is considered daring and adventurous, but in reality it is much more. It is a drastic change in your life, and well change is scary. 



Being in a new place, you are far away from everything you know. The streets are new, the people are new, daily life is new, everything is new! 

I always joke that I want to go on a big adventure like the all the stories I have ever read. So when an opportunity for an adventure opened up, I wiggled my arm out of my comfort bubble and grasped it tightly. And now...I'm on my adventure...but I am internally screaming.

I’ve trying to say yes to more things, but by saying yes I step further away from my comfort zone.
Baby steps though.

Everyday try something new, even if it is something small. It can be as small as trying a new flavor of a food you normally eat or as extreme as going to someplace new.



Sometimes it is our fears that hold us back. The idea of the unknown that is lingering out there. 

I’m in a new place, and alone. But I am trying to say yes to new experiences outside of my comfort zone.Being alone does not always mean being lonely, and that is what I am trying to achieve.


Because the world is beautiful and only those willing to take the necessary steps are able to truly see it.
introverted, introverted and in a new place, simply diary,
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How To Overcome Travel Fears

I have massive travel anxiety. It stresses me out till the point that I cry silently on my bed imagining all possible outcomes. It's pretty bad. 

I don't know if you guys know this, but I will be moving to Japan soon! (Not for ever). I honestly don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea to spend a semester abroad. The emotions upon the days of my departure from the land of the sun corrupted the sanity of my thoughts. I'm gonna come back, I said. And going back I am. But at what cost? (Several thousand dollars and my sanity).

I don't know what has me more twisted. Traveling on a plane for 12+ hours again or being on my own for about 5 months. 

I am an odd human soul. I crave companionship, I need a human presence near me, but at the same time I like being on my own. 

If you ask me to pick between going to a concert or having out in a museum I'd have to ask with whom. I'd go to a concert if I had someone to be with, if not I'd go to a museum. I hope I make sense.

Anyways, this massive change in my life has had me a bit frantic. I usually try not to think too much about the upcoming chapters of my life. I avoid it. So very much. Which is a problem, because the time is crawling to an end. Months became weeks. Soon to become days. To hours. These thoughts bring wrecking sensations to my skin. Picture that episode from spongebob, where we get a glimpse inside his mind and there is chaos, havoc and lots of screaming. 

That's me.

Becoming an adultier adult is creeping towards me. 

All though, all is not lost! Because I have slowly overcome this anxiety and fear. SLOWLY

1. I plan things - by planning things the idea of being in a foreign country for long doesn't seem as insane. I have already planned a vacation, and few sites I wanna visit and what I will be cooking for the first month. 

2. I talk to friends - Sometime that has helped me a lot is talking to my friends. And by talking I freak out and ramble on to them until I exhaust myself into oblivion. It is nice exerting my feelings out to someone who is not myself or my bird. Especially when someone friends pat my head and tell me that I am a Queen and I can conquer anything. (And they'll push into bushes anyone who hurts me.)

3. Distraction, Tea, Distraction - Moving and traveling is overwhelming in general. The act and the thought. So I keep myself distracted with activities such as working out, reading, working and reading. 

4. Tell yourself everything is gonna be okay - Every night I lay in bed and remind myself that this my path and my story. These will be the interesting parts I will get to talk about, and everything will be okay. 

I am very pathetic I know. But I embrace my pathetic awkwardness. 

I feel like this massive leap of "I can do it" will help nudge the other dreams I have in the corner hiding, waiting to be taken a look at. 

Maybe it's just me. 


Traveling is fun, adventures are fun, having your own place is fun. 




Omgwhatwasithinkingsomeonehelpme
im moving to japan, overcoming travel anxiety, simply diary,
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#readwomen December

Living in Miami during winter times might seem like a bore. Nothing expressed in every Christmas film known to man will occur down here in warm, sticky Florida. While this might be disheartening to some (AKA me) recreating the magic of Christmas is easy.

You don’t need cold winter nights under the blanket. Or cute earmuff to protect your ears from the harsh icy winds winter has to offer. Snow? Nope.

Even though the typical winter wonderland will be all but a daydream here in Miami. You can still make your home Christmas wonderland and do all the things the people up north do…like drinking hot chocolate (in 80F+ degree weather).


My wintery season will mostly consist of reading books and drinking hot drinks during the hot weather.

Alongside enjoying the wonderful holiday season, I will participate in a wonderful trend called #readwomen. It is a wonderful trend that all of you should participate as well!


Dedicate all the books you plan on reading to just women authors. If a woman wrote a story and published it with her beautiful name on the cover, pick it up and read it! Let’s show support and appreciation to all the wonderful female authors that grace us with such wonderful stories and adventures!
book talk, books, christmas in miami,
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Dear November: A Letter to Myself

It is half way through November, meaning the year is nearly over! (OMG). How fast does time go by? Hella

Anyways.

I wanted to talk about life, and by life I mean books. (Which is life…along with food)

No, seriously.

Recently, Facebook threw in my face a really old picture of me due to the throwback nonsense it does.

It was a picture of me four years ago. Dear sixteen year old me.



God, that fringe…that cardigan…that everything. What was I thinking? (I wasn’t…clearly).

Seeing that girl in that picture brought back a lot of memories that I have locked away and tried to erase.

Seeing that girl in that picture blew me away, because that girl would not believe anyone if they told her what she would become and who she would lose.

Dear Sixteen-year-old Me,

You are terrified and confused. You do not want know what you want in life, to the point that you question if life is even for you. Believe the words, “It will get better”, because it honestly does. So much better.

You grow confident, how the hell did you do it? I don’t know, but it happened. When someone makes a comment about you, you look at them in the face and smile. You no longer let it eat you up. You are aware of who you are. Your faults and your gifts. You have the weirdest smile; your tongue sticks out a little…embrace that. Practice in front of the mirror and laugh at yourself.

College will come, and it will not be as scary as you made it out to be. You stayed home, and that's okay…because you met the most wonderful group of individuals and created a cult with them…and you, my dear, as the Queen (metaphorically).

You will lose your best friend. I know. The girl who you’ve known since you were 13, the girl who made you feel not so alone. She leaves. And it is okay. But god it is going to hurt. You are going to cry, you are going to feel like someone tore a part out of you. A big gapping hole. Empty. The parting is gradual, but you feel it. You try, so hard, to make it work, to keep the friendship, to make her keep talking to you. You are going to cry till your eyes burn. You are going to rip some art and photographs up. You are going to write letters that you will never send. Until you write one saying goodbye. There is when you finally let go of those strings.

It will hurt like hell, but it is okay because remember this cult I mentioned…well it is not a cult I was being dramatic. It is a group of people and together (including you darling) create the Magic Kingdom of the Piano Lounge at FIU. I know, hard to believe…you will be part of an actually group of friends who adore you even when you are pain to be around.

There is Mom…she well…is mom and she is your support line, she is the reason you are as strong as a diamond. The moment your confidence falters, even a smidge. She picks you up before you can fall and pushes you forward.  There is your reading buddy, thanks to her you will read about 50 books in a single year and made you realize your real dream. There is your Knight, she will be the person who shows you that when a friendship dies a new one blooms (also, your real mom swears you are in lesbians together) because you will be super lovable to one another. There is Thor, he is a giant teddy bear and he makes you realize that being nice is better than being bitter. Then there is the Creator, he made all the happen. He is the reason we all grew so close, because he got sick. Keep an eye on him. Protect him.

There are more people you will meet and they will challenge your life in a positive manner. They want the best for you just like you will want the best for them. This fills that hole that she left you.

You even grew closer to your parents. ( I’m not lying, I swear!)

You grow in a strong independent woman who is like 75% sure what she wants with themselves. You become this girl.



Crazy right? I know. I can hardly believe it. Sixteen year old me, thank you for not giving up on yourself even when you wanted to. Than you for deciding to become the girl I am now.

Oh, and you go to Japan, which is pretty cool.



Thanks,
Twenty-year-old me

Incredible what one picture can do. Now I am excited who I will become in four more years. Give me a couple years, I have great plans ahead of me.

 Currently Reading: Winter by Marissa Meyer ( It is stressing me out!...in a good way)
simply diary, simply journal, simply me,
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Q&A A Day Journal | Review | YouTube


If you are looking for a quick, simply and easy way to start a journal or a diary! You should try getting your hands on a Q&A A Day Journal. 

You wont regret it!

Watch my review and understand why~



This is my life. My beautiful life and I love it!
2015, blog, books,
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